The following is a true story. Only the types of fruit have been changed. Oh and a shitload of other names and details, that unless you are a complete tool, you will easily be able to work out what I’m really saying.

A few years ago, I was involved in a court case. You see a business partner and I got together, and as part of that arrangement, we grew some oranges…, two to be exact.

A few years down the path, the business ended, when the other party ran off with the oranges, and to cut a long story short, we ended up in court fighting over the oranges.

Now here’s the first thing I didn’t understand about the whole procedure. The business partner decided it was too much work watering those oranges, so decided not to work any other job. I on the other hand, had to keep working another job, because I was expected to keep paying for the ongoing costs of the oranges. I didn’t mind paying my share, but what irritated me, and still does to this day, is I paid not only for my share of the oranges, but for the business partner’s share as well.

The other thing that happened was, because the business partner didn’t work, they got given a solicitor, a barrister, which over time became a couple of solicitors and barristers. I on the other hand had to pay to go to court, to try and see the oranges, and had to pay my own legal costs, or represent myself. This is because I worked for a living. Yes, it was irritating that if you chose to do nothing, everything got handed to you on a plate, but if you made an effort, you were shunned. But I pressed on.

So we go before the judge and the judge agrees that I should get to see the oranges, and it should happen as soon as possible. But because it had been many months since I had seen the oranges, we would have to go through a reintroduction phase, so as to not shock the oranges. Yes, that’s right, I didn’t see the oranges for about 18 months, because of the delays in the legal system, so then because of that I would have to be reintroduced to them. The problem here is, the courts decided it was best to wait another six to tweleve months before this reintroduction would happen.

Now I admit I’m not the smartest person out there, but if you have been kept from your oranges illegally for a long time, why is it better to wait even longer to get to see them. How does that improve the situation?

Anyway, the time comes, and my former business partner decides to simply not turn up. How is this handled? Well I had to pay to go before the courts again, wait over six months to get to go before the judge, only for the judge to say “Naughty naughty, you should have taken the oranges to the meeting. Don’t be naughty again.”

Then I got sick. Very sick, fighting for my life sick, not sure if I would live or die sick. Cancer does that to you.

So what does my former business partner do? Well two things actually. One is to tell the oranges they can’t see me in case they catch the cancer too. The second is to try to get the courts to throw out the case of oranges (well not an actual case of oranges, but the case about the oranges) because I am supposedly faking the cancer.

The day in court comes, I had to fight with the hospital to let me out for a day, risking my life because at the time I had no immune system, to go before a judge for all of two minutes, where they said “You’re not faking. Hey former business partner, stop wasting the time of the court, you’re being naughty again.”

So we get to the point where former business partner again wont share the oranges equally as is meant to happen. Which means we go before the courts again, in a case that has now dragged on for about six years. I am there on my own, with a friend helping me to hand me documents and the like, while the former business partner has a bevy of legal staff, all paid for by the tax payer, because the former business partner still doesn’t want to actually work. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to work if you didn’t want to?

Anyway, we go before the judge, and the judge agrees with me, and orders the former business partner to hand over the two oranges, at an agreed time and place, to finally start the reintroduction process, that should have been started six years earlier. When the day comes, the former business partner decides not to turn up.

All up, this has dragged on for years. I have multiple court orders saying where and when things should happen, and I have abided by those orders every time. Every time the former business partner has ignored the orders, and the courts do nothing about it at all. Instead, I am forced to spend more money, more time doing my own legal work, because I can’t afford a lawyer, and take time off from work to go to court. The former business partner hasn’t had to pay a cent, hasn’t do a single thing the court orders say, and what happens? Nothing of course. Instead, I’m just expected to keep paying more and more money, to go through the stress of dealing with the legal profession, all for nothing.

I haven’t given up on seeing the oranges ever again, but I have given up on the Australian legal system. The amount of money it has cost me over the years is well over $50,000. The amount of stress hardship, pain and anger, can’t have a price put on it. The system simply isn’t worth dealing with. The Court for dealing with matters regarding oranges is a joke. They are not interested in the best interests of the oranges, as they are meant to be. No, they are just interested in dragging things out for as long as possible, to make as much money as possible for the lawyers. This should have been a simple matter that if the former business partner didn’t want to hand over the oranges when they were told to do it, then they should have had the oranges taken from them. But no, instead they get to ignore court orders (you know, legally binding documents), waste tax payer money left right and centre, and cause a lot of anguish for not only me, but the oranges too, all because they think the law doesn’t apply to them.

Well that’s wrong, it does apply to them, and it is meant to apply equally for all. But I have to seriously question that myself, after all I’ve been through with the legal system in this country.