The All New NEWfm

With reports MTR now have less listeners than are allowed in a standard taxi, I am sure it wont be too long until there will be a radio station licence on the market. Well the cows have gotten together, and we have decided to buy that licence. Now things are still to be finalised, but we thought you should get a sneak peek at how the line up will be:

6-9 Weekdays:

Breakfast with Ed Kavalee

It’s the most visual show on radio, as Ed spends three hours eating his way though enough food to feed the starving in Pakistan. Every 15 minutes we give you traffic reports for all the fast food drive thoughs across Melbourne. Don’t forget to play the secret sound, where if you can correctly guess what kind of packet Ed is opening next, you win a Flavio bag full of prizes.

From 9am:

It’s the classic Nine at 9 with your host Tony Martin.

Each day, Tony talks endlessly about 9 films of his choice. Guess the correct aspect ration, and you could win a china hutch.

11am – 1pm:

It’s the return of Get This.

It took a lot of work to get Tony and Ed back together, but we finally whittled it down to them having to play only 2 Nickelback songs an hour, so they have agreed to do the show. Of course Get This will greatly miss the services of Richard Marsland, but thanks to the Charlene 5000, we have loaded in every word Richard ever said on air (and a lot of off air content too), so now he can give us Veal Gardens updates at any moment.

1pm – 4pm:

It’s Greg Fleet with “Puns, Pants and Please can I borrow $20?”

Yes the Fleety will be crunking it up for your afternoons, if he makes it into the studio on time. Given how late Get This will be running, we doubt it will be an issue if Fleety doesn’t turn up for Monday’s show at some ungodly hour on Saturday.

4pm-6pm:

It’s Andy and Hamish…,

from Patterson Lakes Primary School fm.

Yes we got the boys out of detention and into the studio. Let them laugh you all the way home with stories about how Red House forgot to put the bins out again. How the part of Bee in the school play is the best, and the riotous laughs of their serial “That’s a bit Gay!”

7pm – 8pm:

Gather the family around for another edition of “Oooh me plums!”

The children will love listening to another wireless fantasy, this week, it’s the Russian Ballet in “The dance of the ooh me plums fairy”.

8pm – Midnight:

Ok all you lovers and groovers out there, it’s time for:

“Alright, that’s good stuff” with Warrick Capper.

Don’t forget, if you want Warrick to broadcast live from your home, he will do it, in your garage, not on grass for $3,000.

From Midnight – 6am:

We haven’t forgotten our graveyard shift listeners. That’s why we have created a special show just for you:

“Stoners and Loners”

Call up and talk about anything you like, even if you have no idea what it is about. Want to tell us that Gotye is Silverchair. Want to ask how you like your eggs. Want to just cry about how little baby Suri is not on the cover of Woman’s Day any more, well this is your show.

So there’s the line up folks, we look forward to having you tune your radios in soon…, or we’ll drag you behind a ute through a knife factory.

One Response

Write a Comment»
  1. You are bloody awesome! My word; this radio station could be the thing that gets me back on the FM band 🙂

Leave a Reply