I recently got sent the following piece of scam email. Now I’m going to excuse the poor grammar, but I did find it quite funny, so thought I would share it with you all, my comments are in green:

Miss Princess Flora Fallon

Miss and a Princess, gee, she must be really important.

Abidjan Cote D’ivoire.
Hi Dearest,

Got to love official correspondence that opens with “Dearest”
With due respect, trust and humanity, (Oh the humanity!) I write to you this proposal which I believe would be of great interest to you.permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you .l must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

Must not hesitate, well FFS then, get on with it, instead of testing out your online thesaurus.

I am 20 years oldWell, my father died earlier 1 year ago and left me behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.I was a princess to him and I am the only  person who can take care of his wealth now because my  mother is also late in two years ago before the death of my Late father.

I always hate a royal funeral. The seating is a bitch, do you put the USA supporters on the left, or on the right?

He left the sum of USD 7,500, 000.00 dollars (Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand US
Dollars) in a prime bank in Abidjan.

I decided to google the Prime Bank of Abidjan, got to love a bank that doubles as the Winter Olympics academy ski jump:

This money was annually paid into my late fathers account  from Gold Exploring companies operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction. I don’t know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father’s kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.

Ok, so let me get this straight. Your father was paid US$7.5m a year, to be given to the people of your community. Now the people of this community, who love your father so much they made him king (it’s good to be the king), want to take all that money, all US$7.5m of it, and no wonder. If it was paid every year, and you haven’t invested it in the local community for youth and community development, no wonder they want the money. Heck, I don’t want them knocking on my door simply because you are a bitch.

Now, I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from the bank to your bank account after which i come over to meet with you. and I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.
Invest it wisely? Sure, can do, I have a friend named Andy, he likes hookers and casinos. Are you a hooker?
I am ready to pay 30% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and
another 10% interest of Annual After Income to you, for handling this transaction for us,
which you will strongly have absolute control over.

Ok, so that is US$2.25m to me now, and US$750,000 a year after that, and I’ll STRONGLY have absolute control over it. Shit, screw you Andy, I’m going for the hookers and casinos myself!

If you can handle this project
sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund,Hoping to hearing from you
soonest. May God bless you as you extend your helping hand to a needy fellow

Thanks.

Miss Princess Flora Fallon.

Hey, no problems Princess Fiona, err Flora, just send me the money, and I’ll see what I can do with it. Sounds great. I just hope you haven’t randomly sent this email to anyone else, I would hate to miss out.