Will the cows be buying a 3D television? Not a hope in hell of us getting one of those. You may as well hand us a dog turd. Bessy Cow explains why.

3D television is a crock of shit. It doesn’t work.

Ok, so some people might be able to be tricked into thinking they are seeing a three dimensional image, but it doesn’t work for everyone.

Us cows grew up when the amazement of wearing one red lens and one blue lens was seen more as comical than amazing, but the wonderment of Magic Eye was taking off. These Magic Eye images were a waste of time, as people spent hours trying to work out the image, when I had to do was take off my glasses and say “Mickey Mouse’s head”.

Here is the first problem with 3D television, the stupid glasses you have to wear, so you can trick your brain. As a cow that wears glasses all the time, putting on an extra pair of glasses to make things out of whack, when my glasses are putting them into whack is useless. While not television, I went and saw Avatar, and it was just three hours of pain, and I’m not even talking about the script. It was just a blurry screen and everything in 2D. Yes, that’s right, despite paying the extra for the daggy goggle, it was still in 2D. So why would I go and pay money for a 3D television to watch blurry 2D images? I may as well drag out the old Rank Arena 10 inch telly and watch that.

The second issue is those creating 3D television haven’t yet grasped the concept of making it. Having shit zoom at the screen is pointless, it doesn’t add to a story line, besides, it’s old hat, the Lumiere brothers proved that years ago with this film:

When first show, this had people running out of the room, thinking a train was coming towards them. Now we don’t bat an eyelid at it.

Yes, 3Dtv, you haven’t got a fan in me. I’ll wait for the fun of 4Dtv, when it really will take me to another dimension.