Oh yeah, I remember them.

Last night I remember the name of someone who had helped me years ago. It was about a decade or so ago, when I was going through a really bad time in my life, and needed some help. No one I knew could help me, or were even there to talk to about it, so I turned to the Internet.

Now these days you can google, Facebook, twitter, Wikipedia just about anything, sometimes with alarming results. But all those years ago, in the ale 1990’s and the early 2000’s the Internet was a very different place.

Not only was the Internet finding it’s feet, but so were the people who were using it. Many people were putting every single detail of their life out there, as if to say, “I now have access for the whole world to hear my voice, and hear it they will”. I was thankful for their decision to do this, and I made friends with a few of them.

One of those people is the name I remembered last night, so I googled them. The results showed millions of people with that name, but not the one I was looking for. So a bit more searching, with more refinements, and eventually I found them. Well not really, it was a page archived from 2003, and the only thing more recent was from 2006, where someone else asked what happened to them.

But this wasn’t a one off. After searching for this person, a few other names from back then started to show up, and it was the same case with all of them. At some point or another, they had all gone off the net, or had decided to go private with their details.

This got me thinking today. We are basically now moving into a new generation of Internet users. People who were never there during these early days of the net, who never experienced Netscape, GeoCities, etc. Yahoo Groups is quickly fading, and MySpace has been and gone like the uncle you only see at Christmas time.

For me, those times were the Internet being a kid, exploring the world, just before puberty happened. Now, it’s definitely self aware, more mindful of itself, and is thinking about it’s future. People today still post a lot of stuff on the Internet, but they seem to not be as open publicly. I know that’s the case with myself. My old blog use to have photos of me on there, and I was very open about my life. These days, I rather not let the world know the real me, so instead present a sanitised, more joyous, persona of myself. In a way the Internet is not so much a personal diary that I like to share, but more like a job where I have to be mindful of the content I write, or I get fired.

So on the off chance any of those people who helped me so long ago are still around, thank you for being there, and doing what you did, when you did it. I guess I lucked out being in the right place at the right time, when things were better, back in the good old days.

Not At This Address

Dear WebJet,
Recently I made use of your services to book a flight, and all was good. But since then things have gone drastically down hill at a rate faster than being ejected from a cannon. It is all because of one thing.

At no point in time did I check any boxes to say “Hey WebJet, keep sending me a shitload of emails, full of your marketing crap, cause I really want to keep getting emails from you about shit I have not interest in”, or words to that affect.

In other words, stop sending me emails. No more, never again, quite simply and in no uncertain terms, I have no interest in any crap you want to sell me, or think I need because I fit some wanky profile someone with an asymmetrical hair cut dreamed up.

I already knew of your details, I used them for what I needed, end of discussion. Whoever thought I made a mistake in not wanting to deal with you again is completely wrong, regardless of if they are human or some early version of a T2000 robot, who is just waiting for the day someone by the name of Sarah Connor books a flight through you.

So to make my point clear just one more time, stop sending me emails. I don’t want to even hear from you that you’re sorry you kept sending me emails, just remove my details, and I’ll know it’s been done by the simple fact you stop sending me emails.

Kind regards,
A Green Cow.

Beware of inferior products

Those of us here at A Green Cow were searching the internet, and stumbled on this picture.

We would like to point out that these are not green cows, nor related to green cows in any way.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to find a much better hat than this Holstein.


“Hey Barry, are the Seppos still using that Space Shuttle thing?”

I’ve got the power!

Heard of Power Bands? No, I’m not talking about Bon Jovi in the big hair days, I’m talking about the amazing load of crap that is a hologram on a piece of plastic.

Well now the Skeptics are getting in on the act with their own version, the Placebo Band.

They claim their “new product which we believe will work just as well”, but I think otherwise. They claim the main advantage is their product costs just $2, compared to the around $60 for the Power Band. Well there for one is a major difference.

The Placebo Band will not only leave you with more money in your wallet, it will also:

  • Make you not feel like such an idiot for believing a piece of plastic on your wrist will improve your life. Therefore improving your life from what it might have been.
  • People who don’t pay attention will think you are wearing an Power Band, and thing you are super cool, making you superior to them.
  • You will feel better knowing you are making the world a better place by thinking about how things actually work, instead of just believing hearsay.

Other possible effects of the band include:

  • Possibly being mistaken for an “Over 18” wrist band, enabling you to get drinks.
  • Glow under UV lights, making you a hit on the dance floor.
  • Make you the next fashionista in Milan.
  • Make you look sexier when laying on the beach.

So now you have seen something on the net about Placebo Bands, rush out and get one, you know it must be good for you if someone has written about it.

Up The Creek

After reading this headline:

Four Men On NSW Canoeing Trip Missing

I couldn’t help but think of this:


Too good to refuse

I recently got sent the following piece of scam email. Now I’m going to excuse the poor grammar, but I did find it quite funny, so thought I would share it with you all, my comments are in green:

Miss Princess Flora Fallon

Miss and a Princess, gee, she must be really important.

Abidjan Cote D’ivoire.
Hi Dearest,

Got to love official correspondence that opens with “Dearest”
With due respect, trust and humanity, (Oh the humanity!) I write to you this proposal which I believe would be of great interest to you.permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you .l must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

Must not hesitate, well FFS then, get on with it, instead of testing out your online thesaurus.

I am 20 years oldWell, my father died earlier 1 year ago and left me behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.I was a princess to him and I am the only  person who can take care of his wealth now because my  mother is also late in two years ago before the death of my Late father.

I always hate a royal funeral. The seating is a bitch, do you put the USA supporters on the left, or on the right?

He left the sum of USD 7,500, 000.00 dollars (Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand US
Dollars) in a prime bank in Abidjan.

I decided to google the Prime Bank of Abidjan, got to love a bank that doubles as the Winter Olympics academy ski jump:

This money was annually paid into my late fathers account  from Gold Exploring companies operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction. I don’t know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father’s kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.

Ok, so let me get this straight. Your father was paid US$7.5m a year, to be given to the people of your community. Now the people of this community, who love your father so much they made him king (it’s good to be the king), want to take all that money, all US$7.5m of it, and no wonder. If it was paid every year, and you haven’t invested it in the local community for youth and community development, no wonder they want the money. Heck, I don’t want them knocking on my door simply because you are a bitch.

Now, I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from the bank to your bank account after which i come over to meet with you. and I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.
Invest it wisely? Sure, can do, I have a friend named Andy, he likes hookers and casinos. Are you a hooker?
I am ready to pay 30% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and
another 10% interest of Annual After Income to you, for handling this transaction for us,
which you will strongly have absolute control over.

Ok, so that is US$2.25m to me now, and US$750,000 a year after that, and I’ll STRONGLY have absolute control over it. Shit, screw you Andy, I’m going for the hookers and casinos myself!

If you can handle this project
sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund,Hoping to hearing from you
soonest. May God bless you as you extend your helping hand to a needy fellow


Miss Princess Flora Fallon.

Hey, no problems Princess Fiona, err Flora, just send me the money, and I’ll see what I can do with it. Sounds great. I just hope you haven’t randomly sent this email to anyone else, I would hate to miss out.