Things from today.

Got the NBN connected today. Didn’t cost anything additional to the internet I currently have, but the speed is certainly different, and a lot more stable.

Got reminded that you should never push a shopping trolley while wearing thongs. Hopefully the toe nail doesn’t take too long to grow back.

Saw a sight that proved just how bad addiction is for some people, or he had just reached the point of no point.

Thought of a joke. Cat hospitals should use the advertising by-line “Does your meow ow?”

I also need a piano, not that I can play one. But thought of this while doing the shopping.

I can see you there,
When I look past the horizon.
The breaking waves,
Gently mask your silence.

Still more lyrics to write, and to rewrite, but I’ll see how it goes.

This could be the start of something good (but it isn’t)

It could be a tumour. It’s not a tumour.

No, it’s neither a ripped off song lyric, or a quote from a movie. This is nothing more than an attempt to blog again. Given this is the start, get ready for a long post.

I use to blog. I blogged a lot. I blogged about everything. It got me into trouble, some of it deserved (hey, we’ve all be young once), a lot of it undeserved (bullying and harassment has no place), all of it lead to me not blogging at all. In fact, over the last few years I’ve waxed and waned on the whole social media thing.

When social media really started to take off, where it was accessible with relative ease for most, I jumped on board like there was no tomorrow. It was after all a brave new world with no rules, and utter freedom. Over time though we have all learnt this is not the case. While the internet may not have laws in place as such, employers do. Some teenager tweets about how disgruntled he is with the footy team he follows, a few years later gets drafted by that team, and the words come back to haunt him, even before he as put the jumper on. The internet that was to be the fountain of knowledge and the liberator of all, proved to be very unkind and litigious instead.

I found it disheartening. I tried many ways to work with it, but my words still would come back to haunt me. It seemed like the one thing that had opened my eyes up and freed me, was going to the same thing that would now be giving me a black eye. So I walked.

During my time away I’ve wanted to blog, but I was fearful. I still am fearful while I write this. But having had the time to think about how I want to blog has given me time to think in general, and to hopefully be able to do something here in a meaningful way for myself. If others choose to read, so be it. But instead of writing for an audience, I am simply writing for myself now, and if others get something from it, so be it, onus on them for that.

So what’s going to be happening here now? Well my first thoughts of that happened a couple of months ago, when I got the renewal notice for the account. I wondered if it was still worth having, after all, I had let other accounts lapse, some I cared about, others I don’t miss. Remember what I said about those early days of social media?

Now I think I have it worked out, what it is I want to blog about. I’m looking at doing a weekly wrap up of stuff. Stuff in terms of what I’ve thought about during the week. What I’ve experienced. What I want to share.

Which gets us down to this post. What is it I want to share right now? Well you’ve read it already. As for next week, I’m still deciding which day I’ll blog on. Sure I could schedule posts, but I’d rather use this as a time to sit and relax, and let my thoughts flow. Sometimes there will be a lot, some times a little, sometimes so surprises I’m still working on. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.

The Curse Of Technology

Before I even start this post, I can see the irony that I am typing it on a fruit brand tablet device.

Technology has made leaps and bounds in recent years. The world has moved from computers taking up an entire house, to basically your musical toilet roll holder having more computing power than it took NASA to get Neil and Buzz to land on the giant cheese ball.

Almost every day there is some new and exciting product on the market, that will make our lives better, faster, stronger, increased sex life, really cool, hip, now! Or any other term the marketing department can come up with. But there is a problem with all this.

People see technology as being more accessible, and by that I mean open for anyone to do with as they please, without regard for personal property or privacy.

This morning I was asked once again if that thing I was holding was a “small vowel – support structure”. Yeah, I’m trying to avoid product names here, don’t think it will work for the rest of the post.

So after being asked, I said it was, then next thing I know, this person has rushed across the room, trying to look at what I was doing, and reaching out to start pressing the screen. It’s not the first time this has happened either. When the device was first released, everyone wanted one, despite most of them not knowing what they are, or how to use one, or even what purpose it would serve them. It was shiny, new, and the latest technology to use as a status symbol.

These days though, it’s a few years down the path, so people generally should have an idea of what the technology touch screen thingy is, but the attitude is the same. They still have no idea what they are. Still have no idea how to use them. Still don’t know what purpose they would use it for. But they still want one.

Because of this desire, they see someone who has one, and instantly think that person is a sales rep, who is more than happy to let the idiot (them) poke and prod and mess about with as much as they like. Well here’s the thing people, you wouldn’t let me do that to your wife, so why would I let you do it to my electronic devices?

It’s a pretty simple thing. It’s all about respecting privacy and ownership. What is so hard about applying that concept to technology as you would any other property that someone has?

The thing I don’t understand in all of this, is people get really pissed off, when you don’t let them do what they like with your things. As I said to the guy this morning, I’m more than happy to let you have a look around on my device, as long as you give me the keys to your house, and let me go through your bedroom drawers. He got annoyed, I made my point, the girl’s happy, so all is good.

It’s a pretty simple thing. If you you are so desperate to buy some new technology, to the point where your life is worthless with out it, then go out and buy it. If you just want to be a nosy prick, who thinks you have the right to do what you want, simply because you’re excited, well go and chain yourself to the clothesline and lick some balls. You’ll be doing the whole world a favour.

One Lump Or Two?

So I’m sitting down at my local shopping centre, as a break from the storms in the area, and also because it’s a convenient place to get breakfast, while I change buses, after dropping my car in to be serviced.

Or so I thought.

You see the problem is coffee, I’ve never drank it in my life. Now before you scream out about what I’m missing out on in life, I have a simple philosophy, “If I don’t like the smell of it, I don’t consume it”. Back in the days when I did have a sense of smell, I never liked the smell of coffee, so I never drank it. The same applies to peanut butter, alcohol, rabbit, and nuclear weapons. Add to it the fact I don’t like hot drinks, and it’s pretty simple to see why I don’t drink it.

Therein is the problem. The places open all sell coffee, and everyone here eating all their yummy delights have them as a side to their coffee. I feel socially awkward being here. It’s like all eyes are on me because I’m typing away, and I feel they would be more on me, if I wasn’t consuming some roasted beans mixed in water.

Is this what is meant by “Coffee Culture”? This whole liking, or pretending to like something that looks like steaming hot Yarra river, with a leaf floating in frog sperm on top. I simply don’t understand.

Bugger it. I think I’ll get a pie, sit here with my legs all unladylike, talk about footy, instead of what little Syverisha is doing at school, and how one day she will grow up to be a princess (when we all know she will just be giving blowjobs to fucktards because she has “daddy was never there for me” issues, and needs to vent). There simply isn’t room in my life for coffee. Life is there to be lived, not to fill in the gaps between attempts to burn your lips off in the company of others.

Doors Are The Windows Of Life

What is it with doors? Why do people fail to treat them with the respect they need?

It doesn’t matter what kind of door it is, car door, house door, even 1960’s band The Doors, when it comes to opening doors, people generally fail.

Why is it, when people open a door, and I’m primarily talking about pushing a door open, why is it they must use maximum force? “I don’t know what is on the other side of this object I am able to grope, so I must DESTROY it with all my force!”

Pity the person other other side of it, who by chance, is having a one in a million (very common) moment, as they reach their hand out to pull the door open, only to have it broken in seventeen places.

Or what about car doors? Why do people need to fling those open as fast as possible, within nanoseconds of the car coming to a stop? Are they attempting to use the door as some kind of air brake, despite the fact the car has already stopped?

I pity the cyclist who is trying to work out why despite being clad in lycra, and riding an expensive bike, they can’t ride any faster, who suddenly is faced with a very immobile object right in front of their face.

So people of the world, here is an idea for you. When it comes to doors, take it easy. When pushing a door open, do it as gently as possible, because you really don’t know what is on the other side. For people with car doors, crack the door open, so it is ajar, but not blocking anything, then pick up all the crap you are taking with you, then slowly open the door, after looking for any obstacles.

It’s pretty simple people, and you’ll be making the world a better place. If you have any trouble understanding any of this, my door is always open.

Going For Au

It’s August, and in the UK right now, the world is turning it’s attention to the major sporting event of Bog Snorkelling. There also happens to be a little thing call the Olympics happening at the moment there too, and I’d like to talk about this little known event today.

My attention was drawn to it when a work colleague informed me we were wasting a shitload of tax payer dollars on the Australian Institute of Sport, because our team at the Olympics is so shit, because they can only manage to get silver medals.


I instantly thought “What an amazing and insightful bloke this guy is”, before even I couldn’t hide the sarcasm from myself, and so I just had to point out to him how full of shit he actually was.


Australia really punches above it’s weight when it comes to sport, especially on the world stage. We have a very small population, only about 22.6 million people, which puts us around the size of North Korea & Yemen (24.5 million), Mozambique (23.7 Million), Taiwan (23.2 million), Syria (21.5 million), Madagascar/Angola/Ivory Coast (20.5 million) , and well below the current medal tally leaders China (1,347 million) people.


Australia is currently fifteenth on the medal tally with one gold, six silver and two bronze. Of the countries listed above, the next nearest is, well North Korea, with four gold and one bronze, but that is hardly comparing like for like. Apart from that, none of the other countries have even got a medal. Yep, Australia are a bunch of slackers.


Then there is the claim by this tool that the AIS is a complete waste of money. Yep, it completely is, when you think of it in the narrow sense, that the only thing they do is send four hundred odd people off every four years to go and fail to win gold in some country. Pity that is not the case.


The AIS provide a pathway for sports people from the most elite, to those just starting out. Look at any sport played in this country, and you will see some amount of AIS involvement, from improved training and coaching techniques, to better facilities for those participating. The AIS doesn’t waste millions of dollars to send a lucky few off to throw things around or run fast, they instead invest in people with potential to exceed not only on the sporting field, but in all walks of life. The AIS is not about burning money on elite people, in the hope they will go 0.0001 second faster over a given distance, that is just a small benefit of what they do, and as far as I am concerned, it is far from money wasted.


So the next time you want to get stuck into some athlete because they failed to win gold, think of it the other way. They didn’t fail to win gold, they managed to prove they are better than around seven billion other people on this earth, at a given sport. Not only that, but they can work harder and have the chance to be even better.


When it comes to the Olympics, Australia should be proud of what they bring to the table, and applaud our athletes one and all. You don’t make an Olympic team by being ok one time before the event, you do it by working hard for a lifetime. How many of those armchair shitheads out there would even make the effort to give it a go, before they opened their mouths? None I bet.

We’re The Fresh Food Value For You

Rant time here today.

As much as I’m an anti-smoker, they are not the direct result of my rant here, but they can in general get stuffed. No what I am complaining about is supermarkets and their bullshit double standards.

Go there to get some fresh healthy fruit, and you have to line up for three days, jump over the turtles, bang your head on some bricks, nearly save the princess before she is dragged away by a dragon, before you get to use a self serve check out, or be told that this aisle is closing, and have to line up to do it all again.

But be a smelly drug user, and you get served right away at your own special counter, and screw anyone else who has been lining up since Moses played full back for Jerusalem.

And it all comes down to money, plain and simple.

The supermarkets know that the drug users won’t line up for their hit, no, they have to get it right there, right now, at any price, so give them what they want.

This last weekend, I lined up at the supermarket, stepped up, and the checkout chick said hello, grabbed my first item, then put it down, said she would be a second, and served three smokers who wandered up after she had already begun to serve me. Go and stick that up your deli section you bastards, that’s poor form.

As far as I am concerned, treat everyone equally. Make the junkies line up like everyone else, make them go through the pain of having to deal with the poor excuse for retail, like everyone else. I’ve had enough of this crap, it’s just not on anymore. So from now on, when this happens, I’m just going to leave my shopping all over the check out, and they can sort it out. Smokers complain out their rights, well you bastards have the right to line up like the rest of us.

Mr Rabbit Listens To His Imaginary Friends On A Boat Phone

We awoke in the barn today, sickened by a statement made by someone who thinks he has the god given right to be Prime Minister of Australia.


Tony Abbott, who wont be given the full honourary title reserved for parliamentarians in this country, because he is not fit for office, has made the following statement, regarding refugees who arrive in Australia by boat.

”I don’t think it’s a very Christian thing to come in by the back door rather than the front door,”

You can read the full article as reported in other media here.


Off the bat, we are appalled that such a comment could be made, by a representative of this country. After all, it is such a sweeping statement on many levels. When in context of what is saying, and we are not going to publish more of Abbott’s comments here, he is having a broad shot at not only the refugees, but Australians too. You must wonder why he thinks pissing people off, and questioning their values, is going to win him office.

He is claiming, in what he said, that Australia is a Christian country, with Christian values something we are not. The statement wasn’t just an out and out attack on refugees, but call to arms that if you have a Christian belief, you should agree with Abbott.


The man is delusional.


Please Australia, we ask of you, no matter how much you hate the current government, please seriously think about the damage Abbott would cause if he was Prime Minister. A Green Cow is apolitical, and we will never tell you which way to vote. If you don’t like Julia Gillard for whatever reason, don’t be blind-sided that it means you have to support Abbott. If you don’t like the Liberals, don’t think it means you have to support Labor. If you don’t like either, don’t think it means you have to go for the Greens.

Too often the politicians in this country think they can get away with murder by alienating so many people, as though they have some kind of right to be an arsehole. The prime example of arseholeism* is Tony Abbott, who thinks he can say or do anything he wants, because it gives him something to do in the meantime, before he is automatically made Prime Minister. We must put a stop to this.

Every time Abbott opens his mouth, whether you agree with him or not, he represents Australia on the world stage as having his views. After all, Australians voted for him. At the moment his idiocy is partly contained to this country, by his party being in opposition. If he was made Prime Minister, think of the damage he would do to our worldwide reputation, and the values of society we hold so dear. Tony Abbott is not fit for public office, he is a spoilt brat, who needs to be taught a lesson.

*Not a real word I know, but the most fitting description I could think of at the time

Do You Have A Discount Voucherings?

Why do birds, suddenly appear?

Actually, why do service station attendants think they have the right to rip you off?


Ok, I was bad, but try and get that song out of your head, I’m being serious here. In fact, I’m being more than serious, I’m completely fed up with the bullshit these people try and pull, when you purchase stuff in store.

The other day, I decided to reward myself with an ice cream after work. They (not mentioning brand names, because they are all guilty of this practice), had an offer of two ice creams for one price. It wasn’t a straight out buy one get one free thing, but the second one only cost about 50 cents more than one, so I was willing to fork out the extra money, to add a few more centimetres to my already burgeoning waistline.


When I went to pay, they came up as the full price, and the attendant quiet happily told me that was the price. I stood my ground, he stood his ground, and only after I pointed out the sign stating the discount, did he them go an push a button in the register, and the discount price came up. He claimed that it takes a few seconds for the discount to appear on the screen. Bullshit I say, because he repeatedly told me the higher price, and it was only after he fingered the register that the discount showed up.


This is not the first time it has happened either, and I am beginning to think it is some way the operators are trying on, to rattle the till in their favour. Either it is a directive from management to not apply discounts automatically, in the hope of the customer not noticing, or the operator is deliberately not applying the discount, then when the customer leaves the store, the redo the sale, and pocket the difference.


Now it may only be a dollar here or there, and you may wonder what’s the issue with that. Well if they did that enough times over a shift, it’s a nice little earner for someone, and it’s a dishonest earning. After all, we pay more than enough for fuel in this country, and that is another matter that needs to be addressed at some point, but is far to complex to be dealt with here, when all I want is my ice creams at the advertised price.


So I’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else? If so, let me know, because it’s a rort that has to stop. I’m taking matters into my own hands now. I say once what the real price is, and if they refuse, I walk away. Regardless of what kind of store it is, I offer them one chance, and if they don’t like it, they can damn well get stuffed. But this does leave me with one issue…, I’m running out of places in my area to go shopping. Time to move to a new suburb I think.

The All New Fresh Looking AGC

So I got on here to do a blog post about AFL jumpers. Then I noticed another upgrade to WordPress, then I got going on changing the theme, and then I designed a new header. This is what happens when you let a cow wander in the fields.

Any issues, let us know. Any comments, let us know. Any complaints…, moo!